You see all kinds of silly things recommended to bring to the hospital when you’re ready to have a baby. I’m here to tell you, most of the crap you’re told to bring you won’t need. It’s a hospital. They have soap, and pads, and diapers, and blankets. They also have regulations prohibiting various things from cell phones (thankfully this one is going away) to scented candles. You will be busy, and then exhausted, and then preoccupied with your baby. You are not likely to be bored. Besides, the rooms have TVs and DVD players. You will not need a mix tape for labor or a focal point. Sorry about this to any midwives who may be reading, but an epidural is God’s gift to women and Lamaze is French for “misogynist”. 5000 screaming women can’t all be wusses. Oh, and if you have white carpet just go to the hospital as soon as your water breaks even if you aren’t in a lot of pain yet. You’ll thank me.
You will still be swollen from being pregnant. You will be sick of your maternity clothes. So pack something loose and pretty you haven’t worn since the second trimester to wear home. Pack a going home from the hospital outfit for the baby too.
You will be bleeding and messy. Do not pack pajama bottoms. Do not pack nice undies. A nice robe for the shower and a pretty pajama top for visitors are a good idea.
Flip flops you can also wear in the shower are a better idea than slippers. You can disinfect them when you get home. Hey, I am a doctor, okay? I think about stuff like that. DON’T sue me. Unless you really can’t sleep without your pillow, leave yours at home along with your blankets. You will have enough laundry to do without trying to get blood stains and other gross stuff off your nice bedding. Well, you’ll still be doing that at home, but why add to the work?
Pack your normal cosmetics. Pack a camera because once you have that baby and apply your cosmetics, you are going to be so good looking you will want your picture taken. Plus, if you forget your toothbrush, the hospital will provide you with a crappy one and charge you $50 for it. You WILL want shower gel.
Don’t worry about anything else. Whatever you forget, your spouse can bring for you when he brings you dinner. You weren’t going to eat that hospital food were you?