The Vajayjay and Other Euphemisms

I get what Oprah was trying to do when she named the vagina “vajayjay.”  It’s admirable, to try to give it a cuter name when we usually use the clinical “vagina” and its sisters, Mons, Labia, and Vulva, or swear words that men have named our private parts.  It is nice to have options. But vajayjay just makes me squirm. It’s almost apologetic. It tries too hard.

When men name their equipment, there’s a cheerful bravado, a cheekiness to it. They use euphemisms because it’s entertaining, not shameful.  Their words also give you a little hint about their hobbies and background.Asking a group of men what they call themselves is a great conversation starter.  It also gets the conversation off sports, which is never a bad thing.  For example:

Twig and berries (for self-deprecating Englishmen)

Mr. Happy

Master Blaster

Rod and Reel

Package (like a present!)

Shillelagh (for the Irish)

Joystick (for the gamers)


Johnson (after the outboard motor)

English: Outboard motor trimmed in

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I’m already enjoying this more than when I was writing about vajayjays.  And this is just the tip of the Pickle!  So in the interest of fairness, I present some of my favorite euphemisms for vagina, presented to me by my patients.


Susie (often swollen, or “swole”)

Pocketbook (sometimes is “drippin”)

Little Petunia


WA (womanly area)

Waheena (Spanglish, useful in the delivery room where the doctor and patient are on the opposite sides of the Spanglish line, such as “Okay! Mucho presso in waheena!”  Can also be used with “Relaxo!”)

Fancy Bit   (Most of these are unflattering, but I like this one.)

Now it’s your turn. Do your part for womankind and create some impudent terms that we can all be proud of.  Extra points given for originality, elegance,  and making me snort my milk out through my nose.


About womanmdsguide

My name is Dr. Kristen Cain and I'm an infertility doctor with a passion for women's wellness and having the time to live life to its fullest. I write about women's health issues and time management secrets for young professional women because a good life means having the health and time to enjoy it!
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